Fundraising fear

Today is officially a rest day as my calves are screaming after my 14-mile sightseeing run yesterday. The last thing I need right now is an injury, I am scared enough about running the marathon, without losing precious training time because I pushed myself too hard.

But rather than kick back and enjoy a day off I feel my stomach twisting with fear about quite how much cash I still have to raise. My wonderful, generous friends have really dug deep and have donated around £700 so far which is a fantastic start for which I am so grateful, but honestly my mates aren't millionaires and I can't expect their kindness to fill the pot.

My mind is churning with ideas as to how to raise the cash, but I must admit to being the kind of person who dissolves into a puddle of anxiety at (a) asking people for money and (b) organising events with the potential to go tits up. I suspect to be a successful fundraiser these are flaws that should be missing from your character.

I am toying with the idea of hosting a pub quiz, but quail at all the admin involved. It is hard enough finding time to train, see the children and earn a few paltry coins to keep the wolf from the door, without having to organise a grand fundraiser single-handed. Added to which I cannot escape the fact that getting people to cough up for a night out is a notoriously tricky thing to do, no matter how noble the cause.

Although I think that is part of my problem, I need to shake off the idea that I am asking people to give me money personally and remember the wonderful cause this is in aid of. I know of so many people whose relatives have been cared for by the North London Hospice, including my husband's grandma, and I know it depends on donations for its survival, so I will just have to keep this in mind next time I have to pop on my brass-necked persona. Gulp.

With this in mind feel free to sponsor me by clicking on the London Marathon logo.

Cross training

As I am only into my second week of marathon training proper the title of this post isn't literal yet, though I suspect that it will become so over the following weeks.

I will admit to feeling a little daunted by this whole marathon thing now. After feeling cranky and tired all day after my 10 mile run, I dread to think what kind of a monster I will be after 26 miles, but perhaps my family should clear out until I recover, lest I bite their heads off.

Luckily today was a rest or cross training day so I took myself off to the gym and did a couple of easy half hour classes. It was a nice rest and gave me the chance to stretch out my aching thigh muscles, which have been playing up ever since my session of continuous hills the other day. But I will admit that I never feel quite right when I have finished for the day and I am not dripping with sweat. I had to restrain myself from taking a quick trot around the block just to get my heart pumping.

Still I am reliably told that rest is an important a part of training as pushing yourself, so I will heed the experts and take it easy. Tomorrow is another chance to punish myself with some threshold training, so perhaps it is a good idea to enjoy a day of R&R before the torture starts again.

On a side note I am also beginning to feel supremely daunted by the fundraising target I have set myself. I am now at over £600 thanks to my fabulously generous friends, but that still leaves the small question of around £1,400 to go.

I have called the school who sounded rather dubious about helping out, but hopefully I will manage to talk them round with my promise to tell the children all about the marathon in return for them please, please, please helping me to raise some money. Fingers crossed anyway, or I shall have to offer to sit in a tub of cold baked beans or something equally nutty to raise the extra thousands.

The London Marathon

I can't quite believe it, but I have just entered for this year's London Marathon. In a moment of madness I have decided to run to fundraise for a local charity - The North London Hospice - in memory of my husband's grandma who died there recently.

I am not sure if I am more daunted by the prospect of running over 26 miles or of raising £2,000 for the charity. I am hoping people will dig deep in recognition of my insanity and if not I will just have to run a million cake sales.

But the overwhelming feeling I have right now is of pride. This time last year I was in the early foothills of a journey that would take me from being morbidly obese to a healthy weight, but more than just losing weight it has taken me from being someone who had no pride in themselves to a woman who feels thrilled at the prospect of running a marathon.

For all the excitement I felt at looking better and wearing nicer clothes, the thing that has really made all the effort worthwhile is turning myself into someone that I could be proud of, and perhaps more importantly that my husband and children could be proud of. I will never forget the feeling of seeing all my boys waving and cheering as I completed my first 10K race in Finsbury Park. This for a mum who had once been so large she couldn't keep up with them in the park.

I was so proud of myself for showing that with determination and dedication you can turn your life around. Lots of people ask me what my secret is and really I don't have one. I just think that if you want something badly enough you will achieve it. I was sick of hating myself and I was terrified of setting a bad example for my sons. I want them to believe they can do anything if they work hard and put their backs into it. I want them to know that while it might not come easily, you can do it.

I know a lot of people think I am mad for becoming so obsessed with running, but I don't think they understand what it has given me in return for my dedication. It has saved my sanity during hard times as nothing clears your mind like a long run outdoors, it has allowed me to swap a body that I hated for one that I trust to carry me for miles and miles without giving up. It has shown me what you can achieve if you put your mind to it, so what's not to love about running?

Of course it is tough and when I am dragging myself through an arduous training routine I often think longingly of collapsing onto the sofa, but then I remember how pleased I will feel with myself if I don't give up. I know that no matter how hard and how exhausting training is, it will be worth it in the end.

So the next few months promise to be even more challenging that I anticipated, but at the moment my only goal is to simply pass the finish line without passing out. Wish me luck!

Oh and if you want to sponsor me and help me reach my target please click on the marathon logo above or visit www.virginmoneygiving.com/UrsulaHirschkorn